What this is
A practical method for conversations you have been putting off: raising a problem with a colleague, telling someone their work is not good enough, saying no, ending something, or responding to criticism you think is unfair.
It is built on a single observation. Difficult conversations are rarely lost in the room. They are lost beforehand, when the person has not separated what happened from what they concluded about it, and has not decided what they actually want to come out with. This pack spends most of its length on that preparation, because that is where the work is.
What you receive
Six printable PDFs, yours to keep and reuse.
Module 1 — What the conversation is actually about. Separating facts from your interpretation of them. The three competing wants in every difficult conversation — the outcome, the relationship, and being seen as reasonable — and deciding which you will trade. Finding the thing you want but were not planning to say.
Module 2 — Opening it. The three openings that fail, including the praise-problem-praise sandwich and why it reliably does not work. What to say instead, in two or three sentences. When to give notice, and where and when to hold the conversation.
Module 3 — When it goes wrong in the room. Six reactions — anger, tears, disputed facts, counter-attack, silence, instant agreement — and what each one needs. How to pause a conversation that has stopped working without abandoning it.
Module 4 — Agreement, record and repair. Closing on something specific rather than on relief. What to write down afterwards and why. The next ordinary interaction, which determines whether the relationship recovers more than the conversation does.
Preparation sheet. One page per conversation, to complete before you speak to anyone.
In the room — one page. The whole method reduced to what you can hold in your head under pressure. Print it and keep it in your pocket.
Who it is for
Managers who have to raise performance, people who need to say no and keep saying yes instead, anyone holding a conversation they have rehearsed a dozen times and not started.
What it is not
It is not legal or employment advice. Where a matter is disciplinary, concerns dismissal, or falls under a formal grievance, that process comes first and an informal conversation held beforehand can compromise it — the materials say so and say where the line is. Where there is harassment, discrimination or threat, the route is reporting, not a private conversation.
Materials are for your own personal use. Reproduction, resale or use in training you deliver to others is not included.
